By HTE founder, Erin Hughes
Maybe Farnsy was right all along… We’ve got to stick together (like the honey and the bee). Let’s face it, life is so much better, so much easier and so much happier when things with our life partner are good. And when you’re parenting some little humans together, that “togetherness” needs some real attention.
“No one can prepare you for parenthood; the relentlessness of it, the constant challenges, sleep deprivation and the pressure it puts on your relationship. It’s no wonder your relationship can get buried under all the day-to-day chaos.”
But if you want a happy family, you’ve got to make room for each other and, you’ve got to stick together.
Think back to life before kids – god, it was fun. You had time to go out, time for adventures, time for weekends away, time to hang on the couch together; you had TIME! And so much time (what on earth did we spend all our time doing back then?) Fast forward to today, and suddenly you’re in a very different world of midnight feeds, relentless school lunches (surely you can do tuckshop again?), kids’ birthday parties and endless loads of washing. It feels like finding just five minutes to chat to your partner without interruptions is actually an impossible task…
But at the end of the day, finding time for each other isn’t just a “nice to have”, it’s crucial to make sure you guys maintain a happy, healthy relationship. When you and your partner are in a good place, your family life runs smoother, and your kids pick up on that. And I know, it’s easier said than done. When you’re in the trenches, it’s hard to see through the light at the end of the tunnel. But here’s the thing: a little effort goes a long way, and those positive ripple effects? Totally worth it.
Sometimes you just need some grown-up time away from the kids. That means adult conversations, without little ears listening in or jumping in every second.. Got a babysitter or a friend you trust? Take advantage. Even a couple of hours out of the house together can work wonders. Go for a date night or even a casual coffee during the day. A walk works too. The point is: find a way to step out of “parent mode” for a bit and just be you two.
Phones can be one of the biggest dangers to relationships; they distract us, pull us away from each other, shift our attention and can create some really shitty habits. We all know the drill: you finally get the kids to bed (2 hours late!), and you both collapse on the couch, and then – boom – you’re both mindlessly scrolling on your phones in silence. An hour later and you don’t even realise you’ve been doing it! But next time, try setting your phones aside. Make a point of it, even just an hour. Give each other some true, undivided attention. That small gesture goes a long way in making each other feel seen, heard and connected again.
It’s easy to feel guilty about taking time for yourself, but here’s a reality check: kids are happier when they see their parents happy. They learn resilience, emotional smarts, and how to build good relationships from you. And when you come back after some time away, they’re excited to see you. It’s a reminder of everything you love about family life.
Parenting can make you feel like you’re just ticking things off an endless to-do list, but don’t let go of the things that make you feel connected to each other. A strong relationship doesn’t take away from your kids; it gives them a secure foundation. Lean on your support system, take a breather, and remember, you’re in this together.
Another thing to remind yourself; this is a season of your life. A season where sometimes you will be so caught up in the day-to-day of parenthood, your relationship will take a backseat. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, take small little steps to show each other you’re still in each other’s corner. The season of young kids is bloody hard work, but like every season, it will change one day, and one day it’ll be just the two of you again, so try to protect what you’ve got now, so you’ve still got it when the new season finally arrives.
