By HTE Founder, Erin Hughes
There’s a version of motherhood we celebrate.
The soft one.
The patient one.
The one that looks calm, grateful, and endlessly giving.
But that’s not the full story. Not even close.
Because what actually makes a great mum isn’t what gets posted, praised, or wrapped up in a Sunday in May.
It’s everything else.
The invisible job
It’s the life admin no one sees.
The dentist appointments booked three months in advance.
The school emails read at 10pm.
The uniforms washed, dried, and somehow ready again by morning.
The mental checklist that never, ever switches off.
It’s knowing who needs to be where, at what time, with what shoes, forms, snacks, or emotional state.
It’s the WhatsApp groups. The sport schedules. The last-minute “Mum, I forgot…”
It’s holding the entire rhythm of a family together — quietly, constantly, without applause.
The parts no one posts
It’s the fighting. The yelling. The chaos.
It’s the days where no one is happy, even though you’ve given everything you had.
It’s cooking a meal no one eats.
Showing up to everything and still feeling like it’s not enough.
Doing a hundred things right — and being judged for the one thing you couldn’t do.
It’s your kids thinking you could’ve done it better.
Different. More.
It’s looking around and thinking,
this is motherhood?
The constant tug-of-war
It’s wanting to be you — and feeling like there’s no space left for her.
It’s trying to focus on work while someone is asking you for something. Again.
Leaving a meeting because your child forgot something at school.
Zoning out mid-conversation and realising… you’ve become your mum.
It’s loving them deeply — while also missing yourself.
What mums are actually brilliant at
Not the clichés.
The real stuff.
They are elite-level multitaskers. Mediators. Negotiators. Counsellors. Logistics managers. Health experts. Problem solvers.
They’ve got multiple tabs open in their brain at all times — assigning time, energy, and priority to things no one else even sees.
Nothing is ever fully “done.”
It’s just… managed.
The quiet pride
It’s raising kids who can stand on their own two feet.
Letting them make decisions.
Letting them fail.
Trusting them — even when it would be easier not to.
It’s being their biggest advocate without controlling every move.
It’s choosing not to hover.
It’s teaching real life skills early — not perfectly, but intentionally.
The kind of pride you don’t say out loud.
What it takes
Motherhood takes things too.
Your patience.
Your energy.
Your ability to sit still and just be.
Your independence — to do what you want, when you want.
And some days, it takes your joy.
Some days, you don’t enjoy it.
And that thought alone can make you wonder if you’re even allowed to feel that way.
The judgment
Mums are judged for everything.
If they choose themselves — they’re selfish.
If they don’t — they’re not doing enough.
If they work, if they don’t, if they show up, if they miss something — there is always something.
But the truth?
There is no one way to do this.
Every mum is figuring it out for the first time.
What feels hard for one might feel easy for another.
Different doesn’t mean wrong.
So what actually makes a great mum?
Not the one who is there 24/7.
Not the one who makes everything perfect.
A great mum is one who lives a life true to herself.
She’s there when it counts.
She gives her kids space to grow, to think, to become.
She teaches them how to live — not just by what she says, but by how she lives.
She shows them what it looks like to chase her own dreams, so they know they’re allowed to chase theirs.
She supports. She guides. She adapts.
She keeps going.
And most of the time, she’s doing it without a manual, without certainty,
and without anyone telling her she’s doing it right.
This Mother’s Day
Maybe it’s not about celebrating mums for being “wonderful.”
Maybe it’s about recognising the things no one says out loud.
The invisible work.
The hard edges.
The contradictions.
The real stuff.
Because that’s what actually makes her great.
