By HTE Founder, Erin Hughes.
“The days are long, but the years are short.” If you’ve ever been pregnant or brought home a newborn, you’ve probably heard this phrase more times than you can count. And yes, deep down, you know it’s true. But when you’re in it? In the deep trenches, in the 3am-feed-thick-of-it, the reality feels completely different.
I remember, before having kids, imagining how fun and amazing it would be to stay home full-time with them. The reality? It wasn’t quite what I’d pictured. I thrive on routine, structure, and productivity — things that don’t exactly go hand-in-hand with being at home full-time with little ones. I’d fixate on the smallest things, creating problems out of nothing simply because I had too much time and not enough distractions. On one hand, I adored my baby and our time together. But if I’m being completely honest? I also found it boring. Draining. Relentless.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but for me, one of the best phases of staying home with my babies was when they were, well, babies. I was cocooned in this beautiful, love-filled newborn bubble where it was just me, my baby, and the rest of the world fades into the background. Maybe that’s why I ended up having four kids! I became completely addicted to that newborn high. I remember my mum saying, “Erin, there has to be a last baby.” And of course, she was right. But the thought of that stage ending? I just wasn’t ready. The newborn days were where I thrived, and I soaked up every single moment.
Then came the toddler years… and let’s just say, for me, that was a whole different story.
The toddler phase is when you start to see their little personalities shine. And while that’s incredibly special, it also comes with a hefty dose of chaos. They become strong-willed, defiant, and at times, completely unreasonable. But on the flip side, they also become playful, interactive, and full of wonder. It’s this intense mix of “I cannot handle one more meltdown” and “Oh my god, you are the funniest, sweetest little human.”
Adjusting to life at home with a newborn was one thing — I was still in that love-filled bubble. But around the 10-month mark, things started to shift. I felt… stuck. Lonely. Unmotivated. The days blurred together, and I struggled to find structure or purpose beyond keeping a tiny human alive. I lived in an area without many services or activities, which only made it harder.
Now I think back to it, the struggles I experienced weren’t actually about my baby — they were about me. Being at home full-time just wasn’t the right fit for me. I know not every mum will agree, but the thought of endless imaginary play, another trip to the park, or Rhyme Time at the library, was completely unappealing to me.
“For a long time, I believed that staying home with my child all the time was what I was supposed to do. But eventually, I realised something important: that wasn’t the best choice for either of us.”
I needed help. And my little one was ready for more. More socialising, more stimulation, more experiences beyond what I could offer.
The decision to start daycare wasn’t easy. I remember looking at different centres, wondering, Am I doing the right thing? But the moment we started, I knew in my heart that it was. My child was happy, engaged, and thriving. At first, it was just a couple of days a week, which gave me time to work, reset, and recharge. And when we were together, the time felt more special, more intentional.
Here’s what I’ve come to realise: we all have different strengths when it comes to parenting. For me, the newborn stage was my sweet spot. I have also since discovered that I love the school years. Watching my kids discover their passions, supporting them as they become independent, and cheering them on in the things they love, is just the best. But the toddler and preschool years? Those were tough for me. And that’s okay.
Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s messy, exhausting, beautiful, and challenging all at once. The most important thing? Making choices that feel authentic to you and your family — without guilt, without comparison, and without worrying about what anyone else thinks.
Because at the end of the day, the best decision is the one that makes you and your child happy. And that looks different for everyone.
