Can you tell us a little about you and your family:
I have a daughter, Stella who’s nearly 19, a son Rocco who will be 16 in May, a daughter Frankie who is 13 and another daughter Goldie who is 7. So, it’s my 4 kids and me. We have just moved back to Melbourne from Bali. It’s really nice to be back living in Melbourne.
Adjusting to motherhood..
I think that children really ground you. It’s a real shock initially to have to look after someone else and adjust to waking up every couple of hours. I’ve never been a very good sleeper so I could never get back to sleep in the newborn phase. I remember thinking, “oh my god, this is the rest of my life! It’s a life sentence and I’m never going to be able to sleep again!” I think that was the biggest adjustment for me when becoming a mum.
When I had Goldie, my youngest, it was a very different experience and a big adjustment. I had Goldie with my ex-husband Adam and it was his first time being a Dad. I really focused on trying not to overstep and wanted to let him experience being a Dad for the first time. None of my other kids ever had a dummy, however Goldie did. Unfortunately, now she has issues with her teeth (I probably should have stood my ground here, ha ha!)
How do you manage the juggle?
The last two years have been challenging. I was in a situation where I was doing it all. Being the parent, earning the money and caring for my four kids and husband. This experience taught me that I was actually capable of doing it all. I decided I wanted to move to Melbourne and start fresh.
“It taught me to be proud of myself knowing I am capable and I can do it. Whether I’m doing it right or not, is another thing!”
When the kids are having a bad time, which results in giving me a hard time, I try to encourage us to work together, be kind to each other and reassure them everything is going to be ok. We have each other and that’s all that matters.
The best thing about motherhood?
I love the company of being a mum, having people around, the noise and all the fun that comes with it (I love to have to people around me). But, I don’t feel at this point in my life I need to find anyone else. My life is so full and I feel so capable and I have incredible friends and family. It’s funny, as I have kids hitting different milestones. For example, Stella (who is nearly 19 years old) loves to hang out with my friends and I, and comes out with us. However, it can be challenging setting those boundaries, it’s a tough phase to navigate. Then I have Goldie who is 7 and has extremely different needs and in a very different phase.
The biggest challenge?
Naturally, I’m someone who does my own thing, I don’t follow people. One thing I found very challenging was Mother’s Group, it was not something I really enjoyed doing or being a part of. I was fortunate that I had my own friends and support network. Mother’s Group was not something that resonated with me. The other biggest challenge for me, was I felt like for the first 9 months after having a baby, I really lost my mojo and who I was. After each birth and following this fourth trimester phase, Michael and I would head up to Sydney and have a celebration with friends; we called it the ‘off the boob party’ celebration! It was great, we even got to sleep-in!
The biggest surprise?
The amount of love you instantly feel for your baby. You hear and read about it, but you don’t understand it until it happens. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to feel that much love for this tiny person that you have never met before, however it’s instant love.
What do you wish you knew before becoming a mum?
Before you become a mum there is a huge focus on pregnancy and birth. What’s not spoken about is the aftercare for yourself. This is what I tried to do with Fig Femme’s vulva mask. The attention is all on the baby there is not a lot of care for the mum. You’re often not even aware of the Day 3 hormones that come in, and you often just feel like you want to cry – no one talks about that. I feel like they should have a rule in hospitals that on Day 3, you should have no visitors, you’re just with your baby and your partner. I also wish people spoke more about the fact you don’t always have to breastfeed.
And I also wish women knew you are often setting yourself up for failure if you try to create a detailed birth plan, because it’s all about letting go of control.
Any advice to a new mum or soon-to-be-mum?
I would just want new Mums to know more about the baby blues, postpartum and things you can do to heal after having a baby. These things are not talked about enough.
Any advice to manage the day-to-day juggle?
I used to be a person who loved routine. I still am, however I only use routine if it’s available to me. Right now it’s not. When I can get things done right now, is really dependent on who can look after Golidie for me. I’m currently doing emails from bed at night since Goldie is asleep as it’s just not possible to do them during the day. The key is being flexible and judging the situation from day-to-day. There is not one shoe that fits all scenarios. I used to be so full on about getting things done and having to go to the gym at a certain time of day, however now I just do things when I can.
How do you manage your time?
I have had to learn to be flexible, and leaning on friends and family as much has also helped. It’s just not always possible to get everything done, which is something I’m getting used to. I just have to take the pressure off myself sometimes – if it’s eggs on toast sometimes then it’s eggs on toast!
There is an 11-year gap between your eldest and youngest (18-years-old and 7-years-old), how does that impact the way you parent?
It’s a challenge, it’s constantly changing and evolving. I don’t think you have a choice. You just have to go with it as it’s happening. I don’t treat my children exactly the same; they are individuals that require individual care. I am guided by them, I try to listen to them and their needs, being there for them is so important. I get over one hurdle and another one happens. There’s always something.
Who is in your village?
We were in Bali for 14 years. Initially we had a nanny and full time staff. However, after a little while I switched it around as I didn’t like that my kids were not responsible for making their beds or tidying their own things. We ended up having our nanny 2 days a week, ensuring my children became more responsible.
I also rely on friends. My friends back in Australia are so special and I’m so fortunate. My house is a revolving door of amazing people. This is what I love about being back in Australia. I obviously had heaps of great friends in Bali too, however, they were different types of friends to the friends and support I have here.
You recently returned to Melbourne, after 14 years in Bali. What made you decide to move back and how has the return to Melbourne been?
I was really needing more support from friends and family – which I wasn’t getting this in Bali. I also really wanted to be closer to them and have all of my kids here with me. Being all together is so important to me.
I am loving being back here with great friends and family. Rocco moved back a couple of months ago as he received a scholarship for boarding school here in Melbourne. He actually applied on his own, so I was so proud. Initially, the differences between the Balinese culture to the Australian culture was a big change for Rocco, and he really missed home. Frankie is still in Bali, she’ll be finishing out the school term. I can’t wait for her to get back, it’ll be so good when she’s here too.
Goldie has actually never lived in Australia. She asked me the other day what radio is as we don’t have a radio in Bali! When we were all living in Bali, we did as many Balinese cultural things as we could. It’s incredibly important to me that my kids see and are part of their culture. Goldie is very balinese, she speaks Bahasa. It is so important to me for the kids to see that world. I recently attended a full day photoshoot back here in Melbourne and Goldie came along. She was absolutely incredible – she entertained herself and never relies on devices as we didn’t give them to her in Bali – she was just always entertained outdoors, in the pool, at the beach, which is one of things I loved about living over there.
With older kids, how are you managing the complex world of social media with them?
Now Stella is 19, so I guess there are no rules, as she does what she wants. My daughter Frankie can get anxious and is quite sensitive, so we don’t allow her to have Instagram and probably will continue to say no to that for her. She does have SnapChat with close friends and TikTok, however she can’t post. Rocco (my son), is not interested in social media. It’s a difficult topic to manage as they have parents that heavily rely on social media for work. When it comes to Stella, the main thing I tell her is to not read or take in people’s negative comments, that’s probably my #1 rule.
You can’t leave home without:
1. Phone
2. Dettol Wipes
3. Summer Fridays Lip Balm
4. Erin Deering Sunglasses
I’m actually pretty low maintenance.
Your favourite holiday spot?
There are so many places in Bali I love.. We were very lucky to visit lots of different places when living there, however because we lived on the island it never felt like a holiday. I loved taking the kids skiing in France, and we always visited places like Maribelle or Corsica – we loved these places as they are so beautiful and it is a completely different experience to our island (Bali) life..
Next on the travel list?
I would love to go to Spain, I’ve never been. I actually haven’t been to Europe since before Covid, so I would love to spend some time over there. I love the idea of visiting places that are romantic and have a very European feel.
Your favourite brand?
Camilla and Marc – I love their structured suiting and their brand. C&M styles are me down to a T. Henne is great for basics. If I’m going out and needing something fantastic, I would go with a Toni Maticevski dress.
I actually don’t shop much. I hate shopping online. I need to see something before buying it. I don’t actually have the patience for shopping, I hate it, ha ha! If I see something from Camilla and Marc on Instagram, I’ll just go in and buy it. I don’t purchase a lot of things. Most of my clothes I’ve had for years. I’m very casual and love denim; I’m always in denim jeans of some sort.
Trends; loving/hating?
I actually don’t do trends. I’m old-school. I know what looks good on me and stick to that.
Latest brand discovery?
Erin Deering has a new line. It’s always cool when someone talented brings something new out. I have so much respect for people starting a label. Effie Kats is such a great girl and has so much talent and heart. I’m so proud of people that can start something and give it a go.
A healthy lifestyle means…
Balance! It’s not one or the other. It’s just a little bit of everything. I like to exercise most days, it’s good for my brain and mental space. I also love enjoying a glass of wine with friends and great food.
How do you keep your body moving?
In the beginning, when I was modelling, it was all about burning calories. But now, I know that’s not good for you and puts you in a really bad head-space. I love hot pilates (anything on a mat), and I love walking. I’m going to start strength training with a trainer soon too.
Your top tips for living a healthy lifestyle?
- Exercise, whatever that looks like for you whether it be a walk or an online class of some sort.
- Breathwork – this is a very important part of my life. This is one of the reasons I started the Bali breathwork retreats, I wanted to give back to others after my own experience. The experience I had with the women on the recent retreat was really amazing – it was so intimate as only a few women are on each one, they really are so beautiful. Breathwork has saved my life.
- Good friends.
- Good food and nice red wine. I love things that are wholesome and made from scratch.
Do you have any non-negotiables?
Move daily, breathwork, speak to my therapist once a month and our whole family goes to bed listening to Insight Timer.
What does “balance” mean to you?
Don’t take things too seriously; if you feel like having a wine on Monday with a friend, have one. People are so strict and rigid when it comes to rules – just break the rules. Go with the flow and live in the moment.
Frustrated by the taboos and lack of readily available information surrounding women’s intimate health, you set out to create Fig Femme; a feminine hygiene and intimate wellness brand with safe, nourishing ingredients.
Can you tell us how it came about?
I have always developed brands and products that follow me and where I’m at in life. They have come about as I’ve tried to find something I need and have not been able to find it. For example, when I had milk and Co, I created it as I couldn’t find organic skincare for babies. I then developed the women’s range, as I couldn’t find double-sided wipes. It’s always been about creating products that don’t exist in the market, and that’s how Fig Femme was born.
The brand and products will grow with me through the different phases of my life.
Fig Femme will have an important role in the perimenopause space; for example, we are creating all new products that will feature probiotics to help with hot flushes and sweating.
And the future of Fig Femme?
Fig Femme has a huge future. I have sold the majority of the equity and just own a small % now, but am still so passionate about it.
We have just done a deal in the Middle East worth $5m; we now supply the whole of the Middle East with intimate products as they are trying to be more progressive and forward-thinking. We are also now in Target in the US, which is exciting.
We are phasing out of Australia, as we feel we’ve done what we can here, however, we still see strong online sales. Our aim is to be a huge global brand.
In her bag
Erin Deering Jordan Sunglasses
Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm
Fig Femme Restore
