By HTE Founder, Erin Hughes
“Who’s looking after your four children while you’re here?”
It was a question I was asked over dinner on my first night at Gwinganna Retreat & Spa.
“My husband,” I replied. “The kids are at school and daycare.”
It was asked with genuine curiosity, not judgement. But it made me smile. I’ve been asked that question so many times over the years.
And I couldn’t help wondering: how many dads get asked the same thing?
Why is it still surprising that a mum might take a few days away for herself? And why do we feel the need to explain it?
I’d arrived at Gwinganna exhausted, overwhelmed and desperately needing to disconnect.
I have four children, a career I love and a life that’s full in so many wonderful ways. I’m naturally energetic, curious and always looking for the next thing to do. I love being busy.
But somewhere along the way, I’d become so accustomed to operating at full speed that I’d stopped asking myself a pretty important question.
Is this actually what I need?
When doing more isn’t the answer
Exercise is a perfect example.
Fitness has always been something I love and associate with feeling good. But I’ve realised how easily it can become another expectation I place on myself.
I should run a certain number of times this week. I need to squeeze in another gym session. I should be doing more.
Not necessarily because I want to, or because my body needs it, but because my mind tells me I should.
That was something I really started to recognise at Gwinganna.
From the moment I arrived, Gwinganna felt like a sanctuary. Surrounded by breathtaking nature, with every detail thoughtfully considered, I felt completely cared for.
For once, I didn’t have to organise anything or think about what everyone else needed.
But even there, my natural instinct was to fill every moment.
So I made a conscious decision to do something different.
Rather than gravitating towards the energetic activities I’d usually choose, I embraced yin yoga, meditation and stillness.
And I discovered that sometimes doing less can be far more challenging than doing more.
The power of a few minutes
During a fascinating seminar on burnout with Gwinganna’s Sharon Kolkka, something really stayed with me.
We often tell ourselves we don’t have time to slow down. There’s always too much to do.
But Sharon encouraged us to repurpose the time we already have.
A few intentional breaths at the traffic lights. Two minutes while making a cup of tea. A moment to reconnect with ourselves before rushing into the next thing.
Not another commitment. Not another thing to achieve. Just small moments of being present.
I loved the simplicity of that.
Because the last thing someone who’s already overwhelmed needs is another task on their to-do list.
Giving ourselves permission
I kept thinking about that conversation on my first night.
As mothers, we’re so accustomed to looking after everyone else that prioritising ourselves can feel almost uncomfortable.
But why?
Taking time for ourselves isn’t selfish, and it certainly shouldn’t be something we feel guilty about.
It doesn’t have to mean going away to a retreat. It might be an afternoon alone, asking for help, leaning on your village or supporting another mum so she can have some time for herself.
We need to give ourselves permission, and encourage other women to do the same.
Because our wellbeing matters. Not just for the people who depend on us, but for ourselves.
Because our wellbeing matters. Not just for the people who depend on us, but for ourselves.
What really stayed with me
I arrived at Gwinganna feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I left feeling grounded, re-energised and genuinely excited about what lies ahead.
But my biggest takeaway wasn’t about fitness, nutrition or how many wellness activities I could fit into a day.
It was recognising how much pressure I put on myself to keep going.
I don’t want to stop being the energetic, curious person who loves doing things. That’s who I am.
But I do want to become better at recognising when I need to slow down, when my body needs something different and when being present matters more than being productive.
Life with four children, work and everything in between will always be busy.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But I don’t want to be so busy getting through life that I forget to enjoy the moments happening right in front of me.
Because looking after ourselves shouldn’t be the thing we get around to once everything else is done.
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