BY HTE Editor, Kate Hopkins.
Before kids, I worked as a stylist and had my own on-air fashion segment on morning TV. I’d always loved fashion and styling outfits (with two older sisters this was something we all shared growing up and still do), and I knew what suited my body and what made me feel good.
You could say I was a late bloomer growing up, I didn’t really get breasts until I was 18 (and even then, we were talking barely an A-cup!). I have never been blessed with hips or curves either. But over time, instead of focusing on what I didn’t have, I started dressing for what I did. I leaned into my straight-up-and-down figure, and high-waisted jeans became my best friend.
“Then I fell pregnant with my first baby and almost overnight, those jeans were packed away. Along with any high-waisted skirts or shorts I loved. Suddenly, I had to find styles that worked for a growing belly and a changing body. Comfort quickly became the priority.”
Pregnancy is a miracle, I truly believe that, and I’ve never taken that privilege for granted. But it’s also a major identity shift. It changes everything you once knew about yourself. Your body goes through so many changes, and sometimes, when you catch your reflection in the mirror, you don’t recognise the person looking back. You know it’s all for the most incredible reason… but still, you can feel disconnected from yourself.
Then comes the postpartum stage. Another transition. Another evolution. I slowly started to get to know my new body, and while I didn’t judge it as “better” or “worse” — it was just different — it still meant I had to figure out how to dress again. What made me feel like me again? What fit, flattered, and felt good?
Here are a few lessons I’ve learnt along the way:
Your body is remarkable.
Pregnancy and birth are massive. Your body has created and carried another life for nearly 10 months. Let that land. Your body grew and birthed a whole human, which is truly extraordinary.
It’s a season, not a sentence.
How you feel now will shift. You might not look like you once did, but you’ll find a new version of you. I think letting go of unhelpful things like focusing on your pre-baby weight / pre-baby body is super important and will help you accept where you are now. It’s a season, a phase – it sounds cliche, but we all need to be reminded to be softer and kinder to ourselves, and be patient as you and your body continue through another evolution.
Do what makes you feel good.
If clothes aren’t making you feel as good as they once did, look at other ways to fill your own cup, that can make you feel strong and confident. Whether it’s going for walks, a blow wave, a yoga class, a makeup lesson at MECCA — whatever helps you reconnect with you, do that.
Stop the dreaded doom-scroll.
Comparing yourself to women online (especially during 3am feeds in the depths of sleep deprivation) is a trap. A trap that I would say 99% of my friends and I fell into. We hear it all the time, Instagram is just a highlights reel, not real life, and yet, it’s hard to separate the two when you’re deep in the trenches of new motherhood. So, I say mute, unfollow, or curate your feed to only include accounts that bring light, humour, or kindness into your day. What you surround yourself with, you become – so watching Celeste Barber is a much better idea right now.
So… did I ever get my high-waisted jeans back out? Yes. Eight years post-first baby, three kids later, and those jeans are firmly back in rotation. But my style? It’s still evolving — just like I am.
I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. My body’s changed, my lifestyle’s changed, my priorities have changed, and honestly, my style has too. But after turning forty, and raising three tiny humans, I’m finally starting to feel a little more confident in my skin again.
This journey — of rediscovery, of expression, of dressing for the woman I am now — is ongoing. And I’m okay with that.
