Tell us about your family. How many kids?

One child, a baby boy River, who’s just over seven months old.

What was your biggest adjustment when becoming a mum?

Not working and dealing with sleep deprivation.

How do you manage the juggle when it comes to trying to do it all?

“Doing it all” for me just means being able to keep another human alive and pay the bills! I try not to put too much pressure on myself.

As a solo parent, it can become overwhelming if you compare your life with everyone around you. If my son is healthy and happy, and I manage to get some sleep, then I’m winning.

However, I’m still in the trenches of infancy, so we’ll see how well I can juggle everything when I’m back at work and dealing with daycare sicknesses!

What is the best thing about being a mum?

I’m his teacher for life. It’s pretty cool wanting something so badly and then having it finally happen; all of a sudden you forget, and it all becomes such a natural process.

What is the biggest challenge you experienced when becoming a mum or whilst being a mum?

Sleep deprivation at around eight weeks old. I had no idea what I was doing, and not having a partner to hand him over to at 3am was brutal. I came out the other side though, and can now laugh about it, thankfully!

What surprised you the most when becoming a mum?

No one talks about your raging hormones post-birth. I basically never cried a day in my life before, and then post-baby, I could cry a river (pardon the pun). I felt so many emotions in one day, it was confusing and overwhelming.

What do you wish you knew before becoming a mum?

The hormone shift!

If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself or others?

Don’t lose yourself when becoming a mother. If someone was to take your child out of the equation, who are you as a person?

I know mums who become so consumed and obsessed with their new motherhood life, and it saddens me – not because they’re doing a bad job – but because they’ve lost their spark or their purpose.

Sure, they may have a new purpose, but I hate seeing women lose their independence because they’ve become a mum.

I’ll admit, I’m completely obsessed with River, but I don’t let it consume me. I still dream of holidays I can’t afford and having massive nights out with my girls, dancing until 6am. It’s vital as a solo mum to still have a life. I try to balance him and my social life as much as I can. I’m still in bed by 8pm and probably snoring by 8.01pm, but I like to think I still have a zest for life, even if it now entails changing nappies and a teething baby!

Do you have any tips or tricks to manage the day-to-day juggle?

Not really, I’m just winging it, one day at a time!

How do you manage your time to fit in career, being a mum, relationship and time for you?

My career is in retail and communications. I can sell ice to the Eskimos and talk about fashion or design underwater. I worked for a business for over a decade, which has now closed down. It hasn’t been hard finding work – I actually start a casual role next month –  but I need to find a company where I can grow.

If I’m going to work somewhere for another decade, I’d like to have opportunities to expand, learn, and evolve.

I wasn’t born into or married into money like a lot of people around me. I’ll be working for the rest of my life, which is fine –  but there’s a different pressure now that I’m responsible for a child. It feels different going back to work. I’m working for a new purpose, and it’s not for that Loewe handbag anymore!

Who is in your village and you couldn’t live without?

Who isn’t in my village? LOL. I’m an open book – from the outside, I may appear to have a million friends, but I don’t. I keep my best friends very close to my heart and have to choose my time wisely. Being an older mum, all my best friends have kids in the thick of school and sport, so it’s actually really hard to see them regularly.

Having a seven-month-old doesn’t exactly allow me to spread my wings like before, so I call him the ball and chain. It restricts regular catch-ups, but I’m loving my early nights.

I’m extremely lucky though. I probably have around eight real friends who I could call in the middle of the night for help and they’d show up.

That’s what matters most. Who’s around when you’re not feeling great? I’m surrounded by those people.

The 5 things in your bag you can’t leave home without:

• Aesop Hand Moisturiser and QV Moisturiser
• HURRAW! Coconut lip balm
• Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm (in Iced Coffee)
• Nars Blush in Dolce Vita
• Charlotte Tilbury Bronzer

Your favourite holiday spot is…

The Greek Islands, the food, the dancing, and the water! It now feels sentimental too, as my sperm donor is Greek (River is half Vietnamese, half Greek). I definitely plan on going there with him one day when he’s older.

What location is on top of your wish list to travel to next?

Northern Ireland and America, to visit family with my mum before she’s too old.

What is your favourite brand and why?

Loewe. Having designers from Proenza Schouler take over from Jonathan Anderson was an epic move, they have such a similar design ethic.

The trend you’re loving right now?

Not having baby vomit on your shoulder!

The trend you can’t get on board with?

Crocs.

What’s your latest brand discovery?

Weleda – they do great skincare moisturisers and baby products.

Where do you do most of your fashion shopping?

Is that a joke? I’m currently living off my Centrelink pay, haha. But I did recently buy an outfit from Uniqlo that didn’t damage the bank balance whatsoever.

What does a healthy lifestyle mean to you?

Lots of protein and greens, low carbs, nothing fried, and lots of walking. I’m a cardio girl and I miss boxing and running, but I’ll get back there eventually. Cardio is the only thing that gives me results.

Right now my diet is pretty balanced, but I can also never say no to chips.

What do you do to keep your body moving?

Walks and I try to do “Better Me” Pilates classes at home (it’s a $50 monthly subscription), but I’ve slacked off because I’m always so tired.

What are your top 5 tips for maintaining a healthy lifestyle?

Honestly, I’m the worst person to ask for this!  I’m a Gemini, so I’m either full-throttle Michelle Bridges-style, or I’m like Rebel Wilson in Bridesmaids! Right now, I’m still trying to lose the baby weight, so not drinking alcohol and eating smaller portions is my focus.

What does the word ‘balance’ mean to you?

Balance means I let myself eat the burger and chips and not feel bad, then I try to keep active, whether it’s walks or Pilates. Life’s too short to not be indulgent. If the spanakopita makes you happy for breakfast, then eat it! Just don’t let the spanakopita take over your life!

Solo Motherhood & Channel Nine’s “Big Miracles”

What was the turning point that made you take the leap into becoming a solo mum?

My age and low AMH levels.

How did you navigate the emotional side of deciding to use a donor?

I wanted a child so badly that I didn’t even think about the emotions of doing it solo. I dived in headfirst and went from there. When you don’t have time on your side, you let the emotions come after you’ve made the decisions. You can’t fluff around, you have to be proactive

Were there any moments of doubt, and how did you work through them?

When I had some failed rounds, I always had doubt. It made me think perhaps I wasn’t meant to be a mother and that all this IVF might not work out.

What was the process of finding and selecting a donor?

I’m not going to lie,  the list of donors wasn’t great. They were mostly one race, and because I’m of Asian descent, I wanted a Caucasian donor. There were hardly any on the list, which wasn’t extensive. I’m also short, so I wanted a tall donor. I waited for over six months until I found River’s sperm donor, he’s Greek and 6ft 2.

Did you face any challenges with fertility treatments, and how did you overcome them?

I had three failed IUIs and three embryo transfers (one chemical pregnancy loss and one 6.5-week loss with D&C). And then my third embryo transfer was River. I had so much support from my amazing best friends and parents. Without them, I would have stopped trying after the set-backs. They were the force behind everything.

Were there any unexpected parts of the process that you wish you’d known about beforehand?

I was lucky, I didn’t have many side effects from the hormones apart from bloating. It was quite a pleasant experience if you exclude the failed rounds. My biggest fear was needles, but I got over that quickly.

Who were your biggest supporters along the way?

My girlfriends – Clarey, KK, Em, Lindy, Casey, Sam and Sheena – my seven strongest supporters. My parents were also amazing. Dad wasn’t sure at first, but he became the biggest fan of IVF once I fell pregnant. They’re from a different generation, so it took some time for my parents to understand my process of doing it solo.

Dad is now obsessed with River. Even with Alzheimer’s, he’s always asking Mum when he’ll see us next. Clarey and Lindy were my birthing partners, and the whole birth was basically a laugh. We actually had fun! It will always be one of the best days of my life.

What was it like sharing such an intimate part of your life on Channel Nine’s TV show, Big Miracles?

I forgot they were filming half the time. I also loved the main cameraman, which was good as I had to hang out with him a lot, so it didn’t feel intrusive at all.

Were there moments when you questioned letting cameras into your fertility journey?

Never. You’re either in or you’re out.

What do you hope audiences took away from seeing your story on screen?

To encourage other single women out there – those who may have left it too late or had a bad relationship – that you can do this journey solo.

What has surprised you most about being a solo mum?

That you are the only person this little human relies on. Without you, they wouldn’t survive. The impact of realising that was massive. I can’t do crazy things like I used to,  the purpose of life becomes so much more selfless, all of a sudden.

What do you love most about your bond with your baby?

I didn’t love the newborn stage, if I’m honest. They’re just a blob! Although he was incredibly good, the bond for me came later. As time goes by, the love I have for River keeps growing  and I can’t wait to see how it evolves. I’m ready for all that it throws me – the highs, the lows, the awkward conversations. That’s what will make our connection.

What advice would you give to other women considering solo motherhood later in life?

I’ve had so many women reach out after Big Miracles went to air, asking me about being a solo mum! One woman even pulled her car over to talk to me! Everyone just wants to know the same thing: how did you do it on your own, and is it hard. All I can say is – don’t do it if you’re unsure. You have to be 100% certain. Once you’ve decided, it’s a rollercoaster, and of course it’s hard.

The most disappointing conversations I’ve had are with women who decide not to do it because they can’t get past the idea that it’s not the “traditional” way with a man. That saddens me. They want the fairy tale,  but life isn’t always like that.

Sure, some might find someone in their 40s and fall pregnant, but for most of us, that’s not the case. I’m considered old to have my first child, and I agree – I am! I feel it too. I have a pinched nerve in my back from lifting River, and it took me five minutes to get off the floor from playing with him the other day!

So the question is: how badly do you want a child?

I only ever wanted to be a mother, so my answer is – dive into solo motherhood before it’s too late, and don’t look back.

Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently?

Yes. I wish I’d started IVF about seven years earlier than I did, purely for my parents’ and child’s sake. I’m devastated that my parents are elderly and won’t be around when River is older. He’ll be surrounded by friends who are family, but he won’t have my mum or dad around, who I’m so close to.

What does this journey mean to you now, and how do you see your future with your child?

The journey’s only just begun! I might start dating again, which excites me, I loved dating before the pinched nerve! My future with my son will definitely involve adventure and laughter. I want him to live life with excitement and joy, to not take things too seriously. As long as he’s kind, independent, happy and healthy, that’s all I could ask for. Then, my job will be done, and I’ll hopefully tap out at 100 years old, dancing on a table in Greece with my grandchildren around me!