By HTE Founder, Erin Hughes
Before I had kids, I remember sitting in a resort pool in Bali with my husband, cocktails in hand, watching a family nearby who were on holiday, with a nanny. I remember us raising our eyebrows at each other.
“Why would you bring a nanny on a family holiday?” we whispered smugly, sun-kissed and clueless. “Isn’t the whole point of going away to spend time as a family?”
Oh, how beautifully naive we were.
Fast forward a few years – and a few kids – and I take great joy in looking back at that moment with both embarrassment and humility. Because spoiler alert: not only did we get a nanny, she became one of the most important people in our family’s life.
When we had our first two children, we didn’t consider hiring help. I wasn’t working much at the time and felt like I should be able to “do it all.” Then came baby number three, and suddenly I was running a business, working ridiculous hours, and barely staying afloat. We needed help. Proper help. Enter: Brittany.
Hiring a nanny felt like a huge decision, especially leaving my 11-week-old with someone else. But the moment I met Brittany, I just knew. It wasn’t about her resume, it was about how she made me feel. Calm. Safe. Supported. We started with her two days a week, and within a year, she was full-time. For nearly five years, she was with us through it all; COVID lockdowns, school runs, meltdowns, milestones, and even the birth of our fourth baby.
The kids didn’t even realise she was “our nanny”, she was just part of our family.
Brittany didn’t clock in and out; she showed up with her whole heart. The values she brought into our home shaped us. She helped raise our children, supported us as parents, and helped me stay (relatively) sane through some of the busiest and messiest years of our lives.
And when she left, to start her own family, I was absolutely gutted. We all were. Especially our third child, who’d never known life without her. We were so honoured to be included in her wedding – yes, bridal party and all – and it still sits in my heart as one of the most meaningful days.
After Brittany left, we realised just how rare she was. We had a revolving door of nannies who (no exaggeration) didn’t seem to even like children, or assumed the job involved scrolling their phone while sitting on the couch. But eventually, thankfully, we found another incredible woman who now helps us, and we adore her.
But here’s the thing: I used to apologise for having a nanny. I’d get weird comments or eye rolls. I’d instantly launch into explanations: “Well, we both work full time,” “I run my own business,” “There are four kids and only two hands!” But one day, a woman looked me straight in the eye and said, “Stop. You don’t need to justify having a nanny to anyone.” And she was right.
I don’t know why I felt the need to explain our decision to people who had no idea what our family needed. Actually, I guess I do know; because society still carries a weird guilt-and-judgement cocktail about asking for help.
We’ve made ‘doing it all’ some kind of twisted badge of honour, when in reality, it’s just a fast-track to burnout.
The truth? Having a nanny allowed me to work, grow my business, and still be present and calm with my kids at the end of the day. Not snapping at them while sending emails and burning dinner. Actual quality time, not frazzled, half-there time.
And no, it wasn’t some wildly extravagant luxury. If you have multiple kids, it can actually be more economical than daycare. Plus, there are subsidies available, like the In Home Care program which is available in Victoria and Queensland. If you’re self-employed, a shift worker, living remotely or can’t access a daycare centre, you might be eligible for significant financial support.
So, if you’re thinking about getting a nanny and you can, I say do it. But do it knowing that the most important thing is not just finding someone qualified, but someone you connect with, someone who becomes part of the team.
Parenthood is hard enough without the added weight of other people’s opinions. Whether it’s daycare, grandparents, nannies, or a neighbour dropping over once a week – help is help, and you are allowed to take it. We should all be backing each other for finding whatever mix of support works for our own families, not throwing shade because someone else’s solution looks different to ours.
I’ll never regret hiring a nanny. But I do regret ever feeling like I had to justify it.
